How to Avoid Valentine’s Day

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t absolutely hate Valentine’s Day. I just prefer any other holiday or day for that matter on the calendar. There is something about seeing the tissue hearts in all the stores starting as early as New Year’s that makes me cringe. The hype around the over-commercialized holiday is stomach-churning. Do we really need a holiday to be reminded to tell someone we love them? So, if you share my sentiments, don’t despair. I’ve put together six tips on avoiding V-day, with the No. 1 tip being the most effective.

1. Don’t get out of bed. Straight-forward and simple. However, most of us will have to leave our abode for one reason or another, primarily because the sappy holiday falls mid-week this year.

2. Avoid Facebook, Twitter, text messages and any other means of social media. Do this not only on the 14th but also on the 13th and 15th to effectively dodge both other people’s unnecessary build-up and then their utter disappoint of the holiday.

3. Ski or ride all day. This can be tricky, as you are enjoying the pure joy of the slopes and can get caught off-guard by an unexpected V-day lover. Basically, become the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day. The key to this is avoiding eye contact and conversation while on the lifts, in the lodge, or at any point between leaving and re-entering your vehicle. If you see a short guy with wings and a bow and arrow, pretend to tighten your boots and catch the next chair.

4. If forced to go to work on the 14th, well, good luck! Try using a sick day or doctor’s appointment. If unable to do so, headphones and Pandora are a miracle-worker for drowning out co-worker’s V-day chatter, but only if you sit at a computer all day. Remember: keep the head low and eyes focused completely on the screen, never wandering. Typing fast can give the impression of a busy-bee that should not be disturbed by the bragging of office-sent gifts.

5. If you work in the service industry and are forced to interact with other human beings, you have no choice but to bust out your best acting and ‘fake-embrace’ the lovey-dovey, holiday spirit, especially if you depend on tips. Ways to ‘fake-embrace’ include, but are not limited to, the following:
a. Incorporate the red and pink color scheme into everything from your beanie to the writing pen to your toe-socks. Don’t forget the heart-covered necktie!
b. Have an obscene amount of holiday chocolates or heart candies in your apron pocket to hand out when dropping off the check. (Just don’t pick your favorite flavor or you’ll find your pockets quickly empty and your waist-line fuller.)
c. While over-the-top, put the bill inside a Valentine’s Day card. Not a nice Hallmark one. One from the drug store, like you use to give classmates in elementary school, maybe even one that comes with a sucker, thus eliminating the need for step 5b.
d. Smile. Show those pearly whites at all times. Clenching the jaw can help reassure yourself that it is not actually a smile of real pleasure.

6. At the end of the work day, instead of meeting your other single or non-V-day friends at a local pub, have a party at your place. Do not go so far as to theme it an “Anti-Valentine’s Day Party.” This will just continuously remind the people present that there are people who are pro-Valentine’s Day and are too good to hang out with you at this party.

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And if you’re not completely bitter about Valentine’s Day, but want a romantic fun-filled day on the slopes of Heavenly, followed by some down-time at the spa with your better half– we’ve got you covered. Check out our special Valentine’s Day Getaway.